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Juno What??? (Ha! A Juno Pun How Original)
"Juno" ain't all that and a bag of chips. Now you might ask why I would use an expression as dated as that. An expression that is in fact cringe worthy in this day and age (as it was back in the proverbial "day"). You better believe I have a reason. That is how watching this movie 5 years from now is going to feel. You will sit back, pop in your DVD or Blu-Ray, and just cringe every time any character opens their mouth. Shivers will roll down your spine. Vomit may creep up your throat and tickle your tonsils as your jaw drops to the floor.
OK! Now I want to be clear on something. I by no means hate this movie. I found it to be a slight enjoyable romp that kept me entertained when not entirely annoyed. When this comes out on DVD/Blu-Ray, I will be buying it. In fact, I might find myself using this movie as I go to sleep at night quite frequently. It is the definition of pretty good cinematic weightlessness. It is by definition a hollow shell.
I as well would like to be the first to say that I do not hate that Diablo Cody got this movie made. It truly is some of the better drivel to come out of Hollywood. But like I said it is drivel. I have no feelings about Cody whatsoever. She is a decent looking girl who used to strip. Though this seems to be a movie geeks dream girl and the Christian Rights newfound enemy, that neither makes me randy nor does it send me into some self righteous moral outrage. She is the definition of the Horatio Alger myth. Rags to riches overnight. Good for her. That's pretty cool. However, what does annoy me is how much I have to hear about her...everywhere I turn. I wouldn't be writing anything about this movie if I wasn't inundated with "Juno" this and "Juno" that. Or even more so, Diablo this and Diablo that. She is an alright writer. That's it. She is alright. She�s not extraordinary nor is she terrible. She wrote one film that is pretty alright. She is no second coming nor is she going to save cinema from the depths of Hollywood sub-mediocrity. She is the definition of a B - / C +, she is a 79.5%, you know the grade you get that determines if your teacher like you or not. Average or slightly above average. She is just one girl that is getting a little old and wants everyone to know that she is still hip, cool, and relevant.
Let's start with the name. Diablo. What self respecting adult calls themselves Diablo (devil in Spanish)??? I'll tell you who! The standup bass player for a third rate psychobilly band destined to a purgatory of gigs at the Troubadour opening for Tiger Army, playing just before Three Bad Jacks while people are start entering the venue. I understand that it was at first a pen name so her mom wouldn't find out she was a stripper (if you choose a profession at least be (wo)man enough to own up to it). However, that aside, I understand. What I don't get is why out of all the real names in the galaxy she chose Diablo. Was Sarah White not cool enough? Was Jennifer Flowers not a suitable enough moniker? Was it not hip enough to go by Lisa Nowak? Come on... Diablo??? Are you 14???
The media machine that has been charging in full force has done her no good service. Sure right now she is the hottest thing in Hollywood since Botox and Uggs, but as of the dawn of the media blitzkrieg she has been set up for failure. The bar has been set so high that unless her next film is nothing short of a masterpiece she will be thrown to the wayside faster than the crew of a striking TV show. She is already being despised by people who haven�t even seen the film. People have already sworn to never see a film that she will write. How does that happen? It�s the public�s love of oversaturated people finding failure. Exposure runs on a very fine line. A little exposure goes a long way while too much makes people turn on you. Look at the case list, Ben Affleck, Lindsey Lohan, Jennifer Lopez, Brittany Spears, Paris Hilton, etc. People love others failing. It�s a sad fact of life. Sorry honey, this is what happens when you go the route of manic self promotion.
However, all this aside, I wish her the best of luck and truly do hope for her success. We could use some new voices in film and I can only hope that "Juno" was just an immature work of a writer of incredible potential. A first film if you will. One in which she will grow from and start to worry about story and character more than quirk, wit, and hipness.
You may ask why I would go out of my way to write about a film that I kind of liked. Well, it comes down to the latest trend in films. We need to find some "indie" film to champion as the second coming of Welles each year. Last year it was "Little Miss Sunshine" (again another moderately enjoyable film that was given far too much praise resulting in a backlash against it), the year before that it was "Crash" (don't get me started on my disdain for that film) and so on and so forth.
What defines an indie film? I like to think of it as a film that comes out of nowhere with no backing to begin with and ends up becoming something special. "Once" was kind of like that. Sure it had the arm of marketing geniuses Fox Searchlight behind them (much like "Juno" I believe), but it was a small modest film starring nobodies and directed by a nobody. It was cheap but always real and heartfelt. "Juno" was directed by Jason (the son of Ivan) Reitman (I'm sure no nepotism was involved in giving his career a kick start... again, I have no problem with nepotism, go with what you got) who previously directed the not so indie "Thank You For Smoking", starred Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner, Michael Cera, Ellen Page, JK Simmons, Alyson Janney and Dwight Schrut, and I believe it was financed from the studio from the get go. Sure it was made on a comparatively cheap budget, but let's be honest when we realize that the budget for branding this movie a "darling" cost as much if not more than the production budget of another branded movie "Cloverfield" (I really did like "Cloverfield"... mind you I pretty much went into it expecting a shoddy script and sub par acting).
Although it may seem like it, "Juno's" "indie cred" isn't what gets my goat. It is the willingness of supposed critics to jump on the films "precious" bandwagon and declare it a monumental artistic achievement worthy of more prestigious awards (4 Oscar nominations and countless Golden Globe nominations) than "hippest dialogue" or most "precious" little darling film of the year. Nope, these people are calling it the BEST (no not favorite) but BEST film of the year. They think it needs Oscar nominations (not that this really means anything, especially after "Crash" not only got nominated but won Best Picture) and maybe even Oscar wins. The worst part is, if it follows recent trends, this film will win best original screenplay (because that is usually what these "indie" darlings win). The other thing that gets me is the love this film got in a year that is so jam packed with amazing films. This has to be one of the best years in cinema in maybe a decade or more. How did this trite little film worm its way to the top???
"Juno" is the indie comedy equivalent of a Guy Richie movie. It wants so badly to be cool and it pulls it off in the eyes of the shallow, but in the end the film�s supposed depth crumbles away quicker than people forgot about "A Beautiful Mind". This film wants to stand on top of a (whatever they were standing on in "Garden State") and scream to the world, "I AM SO COOL!!!!! DID YOU HEAR ME???? I AM SO COOL. I USE A HAMBURGER PHONE CUZ I AM A KID IN A QUIRKY INDIE FILM!!!! I PRETEND TO SMOKE A PLASTIC PIPE BECAUSE I AM A QUIRKY KID IN A QUIRKY MOVIE THAT TAKES PLACE IN QUIRKSVILLE, USA!!!! I TALK LIKE A HIPSTER ON METH THAT JUST DISCOVERED THE WINTER OF 2007 HIP DICTIONARY!!!!" It's quite a shame because this movie had so much potential to be so much more than the hollow exercise in coolness that it became.
First off, nobody in the world talks like the characters in this movie do. This film makes the hard boiled dialect in 40�s and 50�s film noirs seem natural.
Secondly, the film was missing the much needed emotional depth and honesty that the issue behind the film was standing on. This is a film about teenage pregnancy that doesn�t really address the difficulties of being a teenager and being pregnant. I�m not suggesting that they bog the film down with heavy drama, but at least at one point address the difficulties of her choice. In case you are living under a rock, she chose adoption as the means of disposing of her unwanted child. The difficulties of giving away a kid you carried for 9 months to never see again aren�t even a side thought to the filmmakers. The sad excuse for her deciding not to get an abortion was just that, a sad excuse. I don�t know about you, but if I was a 16 year old girl with no discernable religious affiliation, I would most definitely be thinking long and hard about an abortion. I as well wouldn�t settle for finding the parents from the Recycler (a newspaper type piece of junk mail you get every week where people that can�t afford a computer to post stuff on CraigsList go to get rid of unwanted junk). Is a baby like an old TV you would throw away except for the fact that you�d rather see if someone will give you fifty bucks first? I�m sure they didn�t mean for the Recycler gag to be mean spirited, but the fact is, they really didn�t think at all. I�m sure they just thought that was the quirky way to go. Also, why would rich parents post an ad for a baby in the Recycler? I�m not sure if they addressed this (and I saw it twice, but in all fairness I did fall asleep drunk the first time), but I�m sure they didn�t.
The film also boasts a half baked love story plot between "Juno" and the character played by Michael Cera. I�m not sure why this was there. It rang so false that I couldn�t even believe it. I had no idea why she would go for the guy (again, I think you were meant to fall under the assumption that a quirky girl would go for the dorky and weird looking kind of guy). I have no idea why they strung this love story along so far as to end the movie with their getting together (oops, I should have warned you about the spoiler). Never once could I even begin to imagine them together. I could maybe guess that she randomly slept with some "safe" guy for her first time, but then for her to actually try with the relationship just felt so false and forced.
The same goes for her best friend. I couldn�t once imagine the fact that they were friends. I never quite understood it. It was the cheerleader and the outcast united as one! I�m sorry, I remember high school. That never happened.
I�m going to forget that awkward weird scene between Jason Bateman�s character and Juno that happened late in the movie. I understand the idea of a mid life crisis, but this just went too far. Not that I am against showing the idea of pedophilia in a film, but at least make it believable. Also it was quite an odd tonal departure.
The only characters that get off pretty well would be Juno�s parents. They almost seem like real people and they seem like a fairly positive product of the working class. Sure there were moments where their characters took the Concorde away from reality, but it wasn�t nearly that often. They seemed like good, loving and believable parents.
Sure it�s good for a movie to be about the NOW and take place in the present, but a film should never be this for the moment and self aware. Look at "Rebel Without a Cause", that film (minus the whole knife fight over being called a chicken... which furthers to prove my point about having your characters speak in a dialect that is too for the moment it was written) is about "cool" kids in a certain very definable time period, but it only once feels dated. The reason the film doesn�t is because it never wanted to be cool. It dealt with timeless issues in a timeless manner. It valued character before it valued faux hipster credibility. In time it has achieved the hipster credibility while at the same time standing in the small group of films that define American Cinema.
Watching "Juno" in the future will be like finding a razor scooter in a time capsule in 2005. Enjoy the movie this week and cringe at it when it arrives on DVD.
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